One very familiar type of song is the christmas carol
Although it is perhaps a bit out of season at this time
However
I'm informed by my disk jockey friends of whom I have none
In order to get a song popular by christmas time
You have to start plugging it well in advance
So here goes
It has always seemed to me after all
That christmas
With its spirit of giving
O
Us all a wonderful opportunity each year to reflect on what
We all most sincerely and deeply believe in
I refer of course
To money
And yet none of the christmas carols
That you hear on the radio or in the street
Even attempt to capture the true spirit of christmas
As we celebrate it in the unit
Ates
That is to say the commercial spirit
So I should like to offer the following christmas carol for next year
As being perhaps a bit more appropriate
Christmas time is here
By golly
Disapproval would be folly
Deck the halls with hunks of holly
Fill the cup and don't say when
Kill the turkeys
Ducks and chickens
Mix the punch
Drag out the d**kens
Even though the prospect sickens
Brother
Here we go again
On christmas day you can't get sore
Your fellow man you must adore
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty four
Relations
Sparing no expense'll
Send some useless old utensil
Or a matching pen and pencil
Just the thing I need
How nice
It doesn't matter how sincere it
Is
Nor how heartfelt the spirit
Sentiment will not endear it
What's important is the price
Hark the herald tribune sings
Advertising wondrous things
God rest ye merry
Merchants
May you make the yuletide pay
Angels we have heard on high
Tell us to go out and buy
So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle
Hail our dear old friend kris kringle
Driving his reindeer across the sky
Don't stand underneath when they fly by
Actually I did rather well myself
This last christmas
The nicest present I received was a gift certificate
Good at any hospital for a lobotomy
Rather thoughtful